Child Support?!?

I'm listening to the radio...WGCI out of Chicago...and the topic is child support...and heres my question...why do men feel that when a relationship ends, that they do not have to financially take care of their child? Many men are calling in...and they are calling their ex's all kinds of names...do 'some' men think that they don't have to financially tend to their kids...its makes no sense how they attack these mothers just cause they go and file for CS payments, the mother doesnt set the amount to be paid, the judge does, so why attack the mother...cause if the man had custody he would do the same thing...enlighten me with y'alls comments...

[originata]

For the men who just wanna forgo on their responsibilities its easy (as in easier than most women) to make a disconnect from their child through the mother. It doesn't matter if its own flesh and blood he's abandoning once he's made a disconnection from the mother then its not so hard to do so with their child.

For some others, its an issue of fairness. Family laws and child support issues are not fair at all. For them, it wouldn't be an issue of not wanting to support the child but maybe the set amount is too high or the mother is not spending that money wisely. Some women look at child support as a fee for taking care of the child by themselves as opposed to something solely for the childs needs.

There is no one answer as to some men do that, there's just a lot of selfish people who put their wants first. Personally, I'd rather see two adults just make an agreed upon arrangement than for someone to drag the courts in it.

[DBlack]

First off, I strongly disagree with your assumption. Where did you form such a hypothesis that "once a relationship is over with the woman, men feel they are no longer responsible for their kids"?

Nothing could be further from the truth! And one episode on a radio talk show cannot prove otherwise. If I was divorced (god forbid), I would always be there, as much as I could for my kids. But that is not always possible for the man to continue being close to their kids. A lot of women out there become extremely vindictive, devisive, and confrontational after a breakup; run to the courts to have paymeents mandated by the system, rather than be more concerned with preserving a healthy and unconfrontational relationship with the father. The father has a responsibility for his kids. But I think far too often, the nature of the breakup, the tension surrounding that, and the attitudes and dispositions of the mother and the father make the child support issue a bloody one.

After all...."Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!"

Most men want to provide for their kids. But most men DON'T want to support a lifestyle for the mother. In today's world where women (in many cases), can make more money than men, too often the courts levy too much of a financial burden upon the man. Once the relationship is over, it's the man's responsibility to support the child, and not the X. She can find another sucker for that.

[msqueen]

I want to hear from the men on this....QQn

[Ren6879]

No a man wouldnt because he wouldnt get the child ....there are a lot of women who do this even though a man may be acting as a man and still taking care of the child ... when most men get custody of thier children some women are in dire situations ... hell that is seemingly the only way of getting custody ....we genrally dont ask for nothing from the woman once we get our children but women want money not necissarily for the child just to have some ties with the father ... now this is just my opinion ... I believe thier should be an acount set up where as we could actually see the money going to the child rather than it being used for other reasons ....also to add to what D said i would be damned if i were to leave with out my babies ... I would first try to have a mutual agreement but me being a father it is hard to see myself without my kids...

[DBlack]

Preach Ren, Preach!!!

This thread is gonna be hot in no time flat....

[Babydoll]

Noone answered the question.

What about fathers who disconnnect from their children after the relationship is over, regardless of child support?

I have heard that some fathers don't have a strong bond with their children, especially is they are'nt married to the mother. If the children aren't in their sights on the daily, they are less a part of their lives, therefore they disconnect.

And what happens when the child support ends? Do those disconnected fathers come back to get to know the children they abandoned?

It's not always about child support.

[DBlack]

Uh BabyDoll, the question has been answered. Please re-read the starting post.

[msqueen]

I think it's sad that some women are only concerned about what they can get back from the father of the child. It always seems to be about $$$$. I guess some women feel hurt or something and feel they want revenge so, they run to court to try amd milk a man. Maybe I would have a different point of view (which I really doubt) if I had kids but I don't. Most men I know with kids do not have a problem with taking care of their children. It seems to always be the child's mother that finds some way of making the entire situation worse than what it is. One guy I know is paying child support and his son lives with him. Sounds like he is supporting her if you ask me. Supposedly it is "back pay". That's a bunch of BULL if you ask me. These mothers run to court and try and be all sympathetic and the courts accept what they say. I guess they feel the women are the ones hurting the most so they should be rewarded. Like dBlack said, it's a world where women are making more than men now days. I feel we are all humans and we all have feelings. Men hurt too! And, the ones hurting are the kids. But don't get me wrong...I am only speaking for the men that have no problems with handling their business. The others that don't handle up well, could use some teaching on what it is to be a parent and that it's not always about money. It's about love. I don't even think that exsist anymore from what the world is showing me. Love your children and provide good examples for them. They are our future. People tend to be so selfish now days and do not think about the ones hurting and who it is affecting. I have so much more I could say on this and I hope no one takes offense to what I said. This is only my opinion. Until next time....Take Care and learn to love one another if at all possible.....ok, that's my two cents.

[Babydoll]

All I heard is that it wasn't true and then all this blah, blah ,blah...it's not fair and what the mother's do with the child support.