Proper Age!!!

[msqueen]

Originally Posted by dBlack

I don't plan on teaching me daughter the first parts of this sequel until she is 11. How much I giver her dose will really depend on her level of understanding and maturity.

I am not looking forward to it, but It's gotta come from mom and pop no doubt.

I agree, I do not have children yet but I want to make sure they are informed about what sex is. From the maturity level I am on I hope they will catch on quick and be mature and strong enough to handle the pressures of teen sex.

[elmb]

Funny this thread comes up again, my 11 year old son says to me the other day, " Mom, what's the deal with this birds and the bees thing?" So I asked him does he know where babies come from? The boy broke it down from the first date the sex, the sperm and the egg all the way to regular labor or cesearean. He said, that's all you have for me? Lawd have Mercy!!!!!! I said no baby, you have a question, even if I don't know the answer, doggonit, I will find out for ya. Playtime is over folks. lol

[AdriansMommy]

lol ^^^ well there you go. I wasnt told a thing from either parent. Actually it was like that on alot of subjects. Like I was a smart girl, and I was supposed to automatically "know." I learned about sex from id say what would be the worst place in the world....lol Cinemax Friday After Dark. I think i turned out ok...but I definitely dont want that for my child (even though i have a loongg way to go...amen)lol :o I want to know what exactly would you say? What would your first sentence be when you sat your child down, if they didnt ask you first. What exactly would you explain without being explicit?

[000HONEY]

I think 12 is a good age depending on the child.

[naskiecenye]

okay these ages listed are way too old i work in a head start with children who are five years and under and believe me they know more than you think. I've worked in different schools and its the same case everytime these children are clueless and the parents are just as clueless as the child. Around three and four there are children who began to imitate sex that they probably have seen somewhere. These children who arent watched at home come to school and teach your children these techniques and believe me we watch their every move but they play together they whisper and this is the kind of stuff that is going on. I know so many ppl that by the age of seven they done humped something or somebody or somebody done humped on them and then by the time they are eight they are taking off their clothes. Talk to your children when you feel they are ready dont set and age that age may be too late thats all im saying cuz i know the preschoolers know more than i couldve ever imagined.

My children are five and six and they know about sex my son comes home with all types of questions. He even told me one day "mom i bet your butt was hurting when you had that baby" and i was like boy why you say that and he was like you know how else did i get my baby brother and i knew we had to have a talk because the children at school talk about things that the parents arent aware of.

All im saying is dont let it be too late girls are getting pregnant by age ten these days ive witnessed it and its because they dont know anything their parents think that they are too young but had they had that talk....... i could go on and on

[Samoon]

I'd state that the "proper age" is really not solely predicated on AGE. Having ongoing dialogue with your child at ALL ages will encourage your child in not being shy in asking questions and provides an opportunity for the parent(s) to "gauge" responses by opening up the door to see if a given subject is something their child is comftable and open to discuss. Make an assessment without prying or being pushy. The key to it, I think, is, again, having CONTINUAL dialogue with your children. Not a "one time" dialogue that may ultimately confuse them--or they clam up. I have extended family and some of the parents have asked me to "sit in" when they felt that it was time to have that little chat. Above all, be honest with your children.

[Blak]

Originally Posted by naskiecenye

My children are five and six and they know about sex my son comes home with all types of questions. He even told me one day "mom i bet your butt was hurting when you had that baby" and i was like boy why you say that and he was like you know how else did i get my baby brother and i knew we had to have a talk because the children at school talk about things that the parents arent aware of.

All im saying is dont let it be too late girls are getting pregnant by age ten these days ive witnessed it and its because they dont know anything their parents think that they are too young but had they had that talk....... i could go on and on

Thats motivation to have "the talk"

On the real though....your kids are lucky to have someone who till do more than through a book at them. I had a book called "where did I come from?"

It was informative and I was about your kids age when I read it....but that aint enough info for when they start getting interested in the opposite sex.

Blak

[slickbitty]

When they ask. And be honest with them. Use actual terms for anatomy and the act of having sex. Of course you tailor it to the age of the child. My two year old was pointing at my breasts the other day, and asked what they were I told her the straight up truth, they're breasts, and all women have them. That was the answer, she went right back to running around the house and hasn't asked since. All children are different, but I'm sure as responsible parents, if we are doing what we should to raise our children properly, this won't be a problem for many of us.

[deej42]

when i was growing up i never had the talk...what i learned i learned from my friends and with a little expermenting....with my older son we sat him down and talked with him and we let him know he could come to us with any questions and we would try to answer it to the best of ability....my youngest son is only 4 and when he is ready we will talk to him and let him know what sex is really about....

[Baba Ahmed]

While in the womb. In some Afrikan societies there're folk who can know what's in the womb: male or female. My wife has been correct on each of our children; that's why I say begin in the womb. And as she grows whenever a situation calls for it. On her level, not only by us but friends, certain relatives and definitely grandparents. One granddaughter did her own celebration for her 1st mense period. Its a joy just to see her act so. In a few weeks there will be a more formal introduction into Wombman hood with my wife and whoever she invites; her aunts and maybe a few of their friends... leading the ceremonies and rituals will be a sista who conducts workshops on Divine Womb for Life; another is a part NDN sista we've known since she was prepuberty ages. Knowing her, I'm sure there'll be some Sage burnt, etc. Otherwise what they do I know not. Males and men, even of the close family are out. Period. We live in the say'n it takes a village to rear a child. Of course we know that Hillary Clinton did not come up with that, as the major media tried to con people in America to believe. So, the European concocted concept of a "nuclear family" is literally non-sense to us. Also e.g., some Afrikan ethnic groups teach that the best to rear children are grandparents, because there's too much friction between children and their parents; and that the Grandparents and children have a similar relating point: babies are fresh from the realms of the unseen; old folk like me are passing on to them. Plus my passed on Mama in-law says grandchildren are my wife and my "2nd chance."

To us there is no specific proper age outside of a rites of passage. And that more than a child's parents should be involved.