Children Addressing Adults

[bibadiva73]

It's a different time now and I see it everywhere. When I was growing up, children did not speak to adults unless spoken to. There was no such thing as a child participating in adult conversation, unless they were asked a question. Talking back got you a slap in the mouth and children knew their place. Some aspects of that were good because there was a healthy dose of fear and respect in there and that is definitely missing with parents and children today. The parents seem to fear the children. I don't want my children to be terrified of me, but I want their respect as well as their love. You just need to find a healthy balance in there.

[JamieC]

Children should be taught to use Mr. Mrs. Ms. Miss. If they hear someone call ya by your first name they get the same impression that it's the ok thing to do but it's not. I still say yes mam'm to my aunt. But kids should learn the difference.

[mistifying]

I was taught to address adults by their name. Doesn't mean I was lacking in respect. None of that sir/maam stuff either.

[Java]

As stated in another thread I too was taught to address adults by Mr. Ms or Mrs. That was just the way it was. When I got older during conversations with elders I would say yes sir, and no ma’am. I always said it to my grandmother and grandfather. Today, anybody 20 years my senior is addressed respectfully regardless of his or her behavior.

On my first job, a woman who was old enough to be my mother challenged me. That woman would make me so angry. She kept mess going on in our department and she was the oldest person amongst us young women but acted so immaturely. Admittedly, it was hard for me to respect her and I did call her by her first name because that’s what she preferred.

I have friends who were raised similarly to me but didn’t raise their children the same way. A few of my longtime friends’ adult children call me by my first name. It doesn’t bother me because I know that’s how they were raised, and plus they’re respectful in other ways.

Although times are changing, I think some values should remain in tact.

[Chelbe]

Originally Posted by Cheese Biscuit

Chelbe, do you intend to start a thread about the elderly lady on your job or can you add the words Off Topic and discuss it here? I'm nosey!

I dont think its worth starting a thread about, but to sum it up. I work with a lady who is about 60 years old. She never speaks directly to me, but she always has little snappy comments to make about me. Never to my face, but its done indirectly. Now being that I am a big believer in respecting my elders I tend to straight up ignore her, but one day Im going to call her bluff. I told my supervisor, "Look, so and so is going to make me hurt her feelings". She just laughs it off and says let the old lady be, but one day I tell ya.. one day. What is basically boils down to is job performance. Whenever I out do her, she has comments.

[Cheese Biscuit]

Originally Posted by Chelbe

I dont think its worth starting a thread about, but to sum it up. I work with a lady who is about 60 years old. She never speaks directly to me, but she always has little snappy comments to make about me. Never to my face, but its done indirectly. Now being that I am a big believer in respecting my elders I tend to straight up ignore her, but one day Im going to call her bluff. I told my supervisor, "Look, so and so is going to make me hurt her feelings". She just laughs it off and says let the old lady be, but one day I tell ya.. one day. What is basically boils down to is job performance. Whenever I out do her, she has comments.

Because you're much younger (and probably smarter too) does she view you as her replacement?

I once had a coworker that was trying to boss me around. I'd already received my instructions from the person that was responsible for making sure I got paid for my assignment (with a possible cash bonus thrown in too). When I'd heard just about enough of this coworkers voice, I said out loud "some people just aren't smart enough to realize when they're being totally ignored". She shut her mouth because she knew that I'd had enough of her ignorant mess. BTW, I did receive a $50.00 bonus.

[Blak]

Originally Posted by Java

I have friends who were raised similarly to me but didn’t raise their children the same way. A few of my longtime friends’ adult children call me by my first name. It doesn’t bother me because I know that’s how they were raised, and plus they’re respectful in other ways.

Although times are changing, I think some values should remain in tact.

When you spoke of adult children it made me realize something with how it is in my family. As an adult now, I call aunts and uncles by first name and drop the "uncle-" and "Aunty-" that came before their first name when I was a kid. That is acceptable too.

I feel you got the right idea that we should move with the times yet maitain certian things. If the adult is being spoken to like they are an authority and not a child same age as the child adressing them...its fine. What ever they want to be called, the child should call them. If the kid is telling them off like they would another kid that aint cool at all.

Blak

[Java]

Greetings Blak:

You know sometimes I think the age difference may come into play as well because mom’s nieces’ and nephews’ always addressed her by first name. There was not much difference in their ages. My nephews are in their 30s and still call me auntie. I’m only 13 years older than the elder one, if he addressed me by my first name it wouldn’t matter but he's still a big baby when it comes to me. ;)

[Sade]

Originally Posted by Blak

When you spoke of adult children it made me realize something with how it is in my family. As an adult now, I call aunts and uncles by first name and drop the "uncle-" and "Aunty-" that came before their first name when I was a kid. That is acceptable too.

I feel you got the right idea that we should move with the times yet maitain certian things. If the adult is being spoken to like they are an authority and not a child same age as the child adressing them...its fine. What ever they want to be called, the child should call them. If the kid is telling them off like they would another kid that aint cool at all.

Blak

Blak, I hadn't even thought about relatives. Even though I'm dang near 40, I still call use Auntie & Uncle. Some things will never change. Growing up with hundreds of cousins, it was always strange to me & sis when our cousins called my grandparents Auntie Mo & Uncle Edward. To us they were always Mother & Dadda. I think I was about 8 when I figured out who Uncle Edward was.

And thinking about it further, as a kid, the only adults I called by 1st name or nickname were my mother's closest friends. Batgirl is the same w/my friends.

[bibadiva73]

I still say "Uncle" or "Aunt" I'd never address my elders by their first name. I guess it was ingrained in me pretty hard about that.