Discipling our Children

[Blak]

Originally Posted by PhilMoSlim

Uh, I disagree with you there blak, Experience does matter. I like to hear everybody's opinion, but it's the ones with the most experience that SHOULD have the most weight. That's just common sense.

If you wanted to fly a plane, would you take advice from a guy with 2 years flying planes, or a guy that slept at a Holiday Inn last night.

You just a rookie in this subject, like me. So face it, it's all good.

Learn to read....I did not say I have the same level of expertise genious...I said that my opinion counts...and by the way...I have found many black parents and people who work with children that support my stance....I have done my homeworka and for that my opinion counts...I never siad experience does not count....but feel free to hate because you are a mindless sheep like the rest.

[DBlack]

Sounds like somebody is getting a lil sensitive.....BLak! I think you obviously misinterpreted Philmos' comments.

I believe he is simply saying that while everyone's opinion is worth hearing, it's natural and common knowledge that those with the most experience usually have a more valued opinion than most.
And I see that he asked a hypothetical question about learning how to fly a plane, and who you would chose. You totally chose to avoid his question, and fling an insult. I admire your passion, but not your abandonment of objective debate.

Perhaps the next time you call someone mindless, you can back that up with supporting text.

[Blak]

Originally Posted by dBlack

Sounds like somebody is getting a lil sensitive.....BLak! I think you obviously misinterpreted Philmos' comments.

I believe he is simply saying that while everyone's opinion is worth hearing, it's natural and common knowledge that those with the most experience usually have a more valued opinion than most.
And I see that he asked a hypothetical question about learning how to fly a plane, and who you would chose. You totally chose to avoid his question, and fling an insult. I admire your passion, but not your abandonment of objective debate.

Perhaps the next time you call someone mindless, you can back that up with supporting text.

I didnt answer that question because it is OFF TOPIC!!! If I had said that a non parent would make a better parent than one that has experience...then fine....but that aint what I said.....I said that the opinions of people other than parents count. We would not even be having this discussion if I just went along with what others said. This is not my first website, nor my first argument. There are patterns that have come up in my easily over 500 arguments/discussions I have been in. I stated my opinion and did so strongly....do you want to censor me? Are you saying that anyone can belittle me and tell me my opinion is "less than" and I should take it....simply because my opinion aint trendy? If so, then this is becomming those other sites like Destee and the others where free speech isnt really.

[JamieC]

Well first and foremost, a lot of parents feel that they need to be their childrens' "Friends" WRONG ANSWER. My kiddos are 8, 15, 16, and 20. You can't sit there and be buddy buddy with them. As someone stated earlier you need to nip it in the bud before they get out of control because I'll be damn if a child tries to out talk me, show no respect, or roll their eyes at me. I'll slap the taste of their mouths with the quickness!!

If more parents would sit and talk with their children if only for 30 minutes, you've got that communication thing happening. If you don't, well the first impression they get is well "they don't care, so why should I"?

Being a parent isn't an easy task, but if there's love shown towards them, they learn to respect it ten fold. JMO.

I'm Diggin' The Thread. :terrific:

[DBlack]

Whatever you say Blak, I concede. Arguing is one thing. Debate is yet another. Nonetheless this is an excellent thread.

[naskiecenye]

whatever you do make your decision before your child turns five because how your children are after that is basically how they are going to be not saying they still dont need parenting or anything but if you get them straight by five than you should be okay
here's a few tips:
#1. Make sure that you have a schedule and follow it: make it fun post it with pictures so that they can understand for exp. dinner at 6, bath at seven, and bedtime at 8 your child will get accustomed to this and it will become second nature( i know mine do)
#2 I also talk to my children at eye level: i find that its easier for them to understand you ever told a child to do something and wonder why it seems they dont listen, try getting down and tell them to their face i get things done quicker faster and with less stress
#3 Tell them the rules: dont expect your child to know any better if you havent taught them better also post them and make it fun
#4. Have consequences and stick to them: dont say if your room isnt clean you cant watch tv and then let it slide your child will see you as a joke so please say what u mean and mean what you say. Also tell them what the consequence are for instance my kids know that if the room is dirty they can not do what they are allowed to do for that day ie: tv day is only sunday for one hour and they will not watch tv that day if the room isnt clean
#5 Please stop letting the tv babysit your children read to them or by an educational game my children only watch tv twice a week one hour for each day that they watch it (only sat. they watch fox box and tues they love noggin with dora and lil bill) oh please cartoon network is poison i had to band that channel from my house


in my house we have fun and my children know whats expected of them my sister says that im crazy because im a teacher and i like things in order plus i teach children so i use the knowledge i have in my house but i have them in check and thats all that matter

[sumayyah]

Originally Posted by ohhtobeme

Set limits and be prepared to deliver consequences for violating them. Be consistent in drawing the same line for the same behavior.Offer options for unacceptable behavior. When setting limits, help the child come up with alternate choices of things they can do or have. This helps the child develop problem-solving skills and indicates that you have confidence in the child.


Validate the child’s feelings. Show that you understand and accept the child’s feelings and needs. Do not simply say “No, you can’t” but rather “ I know you want to go play but, our rule is homework first.”


Spanking. When children are disruptive and after three warnings. When the child is younger( 16 mths) I would spank them on their hand at first but if they are still not obeying I will spank their "bare" behind and also it is important to explain why.

Those sounds like my parenting tools! We must be reading form the same book! LOL.. seriously.. my son just hit the 14 month mark.. I spank his hand, after i tell him "stop", or "no". Actually, I've almost perfected my "look", too! He does stuff he knows he shouldn't be doing, be he watched me the whole time to see if he can get away with it. When I look at him and raise my eyebrow, he usually stops and looks guilty. When I tell him no, he pouts. (He's got the cutest little pout.) I'm starting with the time out thing. He starts his little temper tantrum, I get up and leave the room. Or I'll put him in his bed and leave him there. He comes out when he's done.....

[msqueen]

I will spank that taill too! I think that's what's wrong with these smart mouth kids now! I am sorry, "TIME OUT" ain't good enough. That's a JOKE to me.

But, to each is own. Do whatever it is you feel your child will respect. I know growing up I respected my mom and dad cause I was scare of that lil thin leather belt that always appreared when I wanted to be sassy at the mouth.

[000HONEY]

I take away things that they like(such as TV time, outside play time, games & toys) & I also spank my children...if the crime fits the punishment.

[deej42]

I believe in spanking but i also believe other forms of punishments...I have a 22yr old and a 4 yr old. Some of the things i did with the older one i am not doing with the younger one....I am doing more explaining and not so much yelling...We have to remember yes they are our children and we need to disciple them..but they have feelings and emotions also....i believe in taking things away on if they understand why we do what we do.