the beat down

[Chelbe]

Your child gets beat down. What actions do you take to make sure it never happens again and would those actions be different if it happened in school versus in the neighborhood?

What if after the first time and actions were taken, it happens again by the same person who beat them down the first time? What do you then do?

Or what if your child has not gotten beat down, but comes comes and tells you about other kids, one in particular bullying them? What do you do to help make sure that it doesn't get physical?

[Blak]

Bullying is something parents need to think about early on. I will teach my kids to defend themself...but also to diffuse bad situations.

I have been bullied, seen others get bullied, and been a bully, at different points thru elementary school. It is an indication of problems in the life of the bully....and the act is self is the problem in the life of the victim. Both kids need to be dealt with bofre things get outta hand. Also, verbal harrassment has a big effect. I highschool, I was doing well in one particular class when the teacher got sick and was away for a couple months. The replacement did little to control things and these hockey boys in the class started harassing me and making subtle racial jokes. It was nothing physical....and I lashed out back at them, but I started to hate that class. I was showing up late and my mark went from a low A when the teacher left, to a C when she returned. She asked what was going on but I was embaressed to say anything about it. Parents should watch for changes in behaviour and marks that seem outta place to know if something is going on.

Blak

[naskiecenye]

My son thanks that hes a super hero and can beat anyone on the other hand i have another son thats punk and would let anyone do anything to him they are only in kindergarden and first grade and ive had to deal with these issues a time or two

I tell my children to go to a teacher or a trusted adult but if that person keeps on messing with you and the teacher dont do anything than you fight i tell them not to be scared of anybody its okay to lose as long as you gave it your all and if you cant beat them pick up the nearest object and beat the crap out of them my son got in to one fight last year in kindergarden and he told me the kids dont mess with him anymore and thats just how i was taught when you have a group of children taunting you find the ring leader and beat the crap out of them and then noone will mess with you after that and if push comes to shove they dont want mama to come up there

[Chelbe]

Originally Posted by naskiecenye

"if you cant beat them pick up the nearest object and beat the crap out of them"

Lol.. that's the same thing my momma told me.
Fortunately I've never had a physical fight a day in my life (except once, but we were just playing) nothing serious though. I was also taught to just turn my back to things, but that doesn't always work IMO.

[Chelbe]

Originally Posted by Blak

Bullying is something parents need to think about early on. I will teach my kids to defend themself...but also to diffuse bad situations.

I have been bullied, seen others get bullied, and been a bully, at different points thru elementary school. It is an indication of problems in the life of the bully....and the act is self is the problem in the life of the victim. Both kids need to be dealt with bofre things get outta hand. Also, verbal harrassment has a big effect. I highschool, I was doing well in one particular class when the teacher got sick and was away for a couple months. The replacement did little to control things and these hockey boys in the class started harassing me and making subtle racial jokes. It was nothing physical....and I lashed out back at them, but I started to hate that class. I was showing up late and my mark went from a low A when the teacher left, to a C when she returned. She asked what was going on but I was embaressed to say anything about it. Parents should watch for changes in behaviour and marks that seem outta place to know if something is going on.

Blak

Blak I went through something similar. The older I got the more ashamed I was to come home and complain about being bullied. Til this day most of my closest family members and friends still have no idea about most of the things that happened. What was a big turn around for me was the day I spoke up for myself.

[DBlack]

Good Question/s.

Reps given....

I have a girl, so I would definitely handle it differently than I would a boy.

If my child caught a beatdown, I would certainly notify the school, if it happened there. If it happened outside of school it would really depend on where, what type of security was there, and whether or not I could be there to intervene.

When interacting with my child, I would teach her the importance of being a lady at ALL times, and learning to be passive, but not cowardly. I would teach her how to find ways to avoid conflict before they get physical. And only when in a situation where she felt threatened, and it was unavoidable would it then be appropriate for her to defend herself physically.

Overall, teaching conflict resolution/avoidance skills is the best tool.

[elmb]

I think of this topic with much pain in my heart. I was bullied all through middle school because my grandmother didn't believe in spending alot of money on clothes and surely didn't know anything about fashion. It's sad because you look at Waco and similiar situaitons, people can only take so much. Some of these bullies are sooooo cruel. That's why to this day, I cannot stand playing the dozens. Not everyone is as quick with theirs and they are the ones signaled out eventually. It can cripple your self esteem for years to come. Thank God I had help after that. It comes back to talking to your kids. I constantly tell my son about my horror stories so he cay see the effects on hurting someone with your words, or your pushing or shoving. As far as him getting bullied, I'm there full force, let's bring charges. It a never ending job.

[Blak]

Originally Posted by dBlack

Good Question/s.

Reps given....

I have a girl, so I would definitely handle it differently than I would a boy.

If my child caught a beatdown, I would certainly notify the school, if it happened there. If it happened outside of school it would really depend on where, what type of security was there, and whether or not I could be there to intervene.

When interacting with my child, I would teach her the importance of being a lady at ALL times, and learning to be passive, but not cowardly. I would teach her how to find ways to avoid conflict before they get physical. And only when in a situation where she felt threatened, and it was unavoidable would it then be appropriate for her to defend herself physically.

Overall, teaching conflict resolution/avoidance skills is the best tool.

You and anyone with a little girl has their work cut out for them....it seems that girl bullying has skyrocketed since I was young.....they are getting as rough as the boys sometimes....I hope that trend dont continue.

[sumayyah]

It's hard to think about my one year old getting into a fight with anybody.. Of course, he has already learned how to hit people when he wants them to go away (I don't know where he got that from.). I plan to raise him to be able to defend himslef if necessary. One thing we should always teach our children (and I'm guessing here) is "don't start none." Of course, my attitude has always been "if you start it, I'll finish it."

My nephew had a bully problem at his old school. He was double-promoted, she he's younger and smaller than all the kids in his class. They picked on him, knocking him down, taking his crayons (he's in the second grade now), blocking his locker..... He started fighting back, after he told the teacher and nothing happened. He ended up getting suspended for punching some little girl in the face... after she hit him and blocked his locker and called him names............

[Yewmanyeti]

I'm kinda embarrassed to share a few of my experiences lol

But all in all, I agree with dBlack's approach, for boy or girl, and I feel what Blak was saying also.