Adventures in Other People's Kids

[sumayyah]

Peace and blessings.

I came across a blog asking about a question of authority. The writer happened across some young women (teenagers) yelling across a store and referring to each other using the "N" word. She allowed the moment to pass, questioning why did she not say anything to them.

The question I am posing to you all is this: when is it okay to discipline children unknown to you? Have you ever? And what about the children that are acting up within earshot/eyesight of their parents? And would you want your child to be disciplined by someone unknown to you? (A passerby, store clerk, etc.)

[afrocentric]

when is it okay to discipline children unknown to you?

unless they are my family or my godchildren i have no problem saying something about it. but someone's child whom i don't know, it really isn't my place. the way kids are nowadays ( rude, abnoxious, ignant, loudmouth) you really can't say too much to them.

one of my boy's friends who i think is bad news said something nasty around my boy's aunt (my cousin) as she was getting out her car in the store's parking lot and they didn't even know she was standing there but my boy's did. they didn't correct him, but she did.

[MadameX]

Originally Posted by sumayyah

Peace and blessings.

I came across a blog asking about a question of authority. The writer happened across some young women (teenagers) yelling across a store and referring to each other using the "N" word. She allowed the moment to pass, questioning why did she not say anything to them.

The question I am posing to you all is this: when is it okay to discipline children unknown to you? Have you ever? And what about the children that are acting up within earshot/eyesight of their parents? And would you want your child to be disciplined by someone unknown to you? (A passerby, store clerk, etc.)

Sistergirl, you have to think about you are saying. A seed/child is only a reflection of who it is planted by and ignorance magnifies ignorance over generations. Now, if the public feels compelled not to spare the rod on your child in public b/c it doesn't know how to compose itselves and listen to what you say, what does that indicate about your parenting skills. I'm just saying hypathetically. Time for inner reflection.

[s8loud]

When one disciplines a child, one's values are imparted to that child. I think that's the dominion of a child's parents, ideally speaking. However, practically speaking, if a child deserves to be corrected, it shouldn't matter who it comes from IMO, as long as it's in a constructive manner.

[Jewels0479]

This is a touchy subject. People are very protective of their children, right or wrong, and some children these days are obnoxious, ignorant, "too big for their britches" and don't even listen when their parents try and discipline them. If you feel compelled to discipline a child other than your own in public, you more than likely are dealing with one like I've just described. I don't have children but I have been out in public and had someone elses child act a fool around me. There have been times when I've set them straight an there have been times when I didn't say anything. It depends on the situation an how compelled I felt to intervene. It also depends on whether or not I think the child is going to be receptive to what I am saying or if I think my words will fall on deaf ears.

[MadameX]

Originally Posted by Jewels0479

This is a touchy subject.

Sistergirl,as I told the other sister, it all boils down to hometraining. Afterall, a seed/ child is a direct reflection of their their home environment.A seed/child is only and respond to how it is planted and ignorance magnifies ignorance over generations. Now, if the public feels compelled not to spare the rod on your child in public shooting up peoples world like shaft. Because, it doesn't know how to compose itselves and doesn't listen to what you say, what does that indicate about your parenting skills. I'm just saying hypathetically.It'st ime for inner reflection and prayer.

[IAMLOVE]

It depends on the situation and behaviour of the child/children. I've found the adults with small children worse than the teens. Swearing loudly on a bus with a baby/toddler in the buggy and feeling now way about it. Nowadays, people are afraid to reprimand, no matter how nicely done, because of the fear of being attacked or killed. Fortunately, i have never had to witness anything, which would cause me to intervene.

[JABOOM]

I DO IT OVER TIMER!!!!

I work in a library and they have computers, books, and school kids around the clock. Many of these kids get dropped off by their parents and told to "do their homework" the thing is unsupervised kids can get into a world of trouble, whether they are having sex under the star case, cussing across the building, or just saying the "N" word to each other. They are alone and their parents should be there with them.

The main reason i do it is to keep them out of the hands of the crackkka law. These people love to find reason to lock us and our children away so I make sure I am there to let them know this, if I have to stop my work to stop them I do because the white folks I work with just love to have the police on speed dial.

One thing I've noticed MOST DON'T TALK BACK. If you come at them with love and respect they will listen I have watched so called "baby thugs" turn into angels because I just talked to them..........doesn't always work and I do have days off so saving them all is impossible *at times*

But some one needs to step up and try sometimes

[afrocentric]

very good jaboom. i like that.

[poeticasylum1]

I have seen good and bad. I have had parents try to run up in my house because I disciplined their kid. You know the strange thing about that though, it was the kid who spoke up for me. That was powerful, because the kid at that time understood what I was doing. The parents on the otherhand thought I had did something criminal. So in some cases the parents dont even understand.

I have this thing I call the look of love. Its simply a look of authority and a look of "boy, girl,... get your mind right, you are in the presence of an elder" Many of my step son's friends liked to come by, but hated when I was around. Pants get pulled up, decorum gets put in place, etc. You have to look into their soul. They know that if you can look into them, then that gangsta thug image gets ripped to shreds. I always address them like royalty. I find when you are respectful and kind, they respond. Now when they are with their friends they are going to do their thing. Yet, they need to be able to see the presence of authority on you. You cant be "dressed" like them, you cant talk like them, you have to be one who is above them. I dont care how sassy or gangsta they try to be. If your love shows, then correcting them isnt a problem. Sisters for example, I speak in a tone that is kind, but Im staring into their eyes with purpose. If they are talking crazy, I will speak up and say "hey, thats not cute" "hey... dont do that" With brothers its more like "hey, knock it off" " "come here... I need to talk to you"

Its best to get them alone, you dont want to embarrass them. Peer pressure is delicate with kids. Being a teacher, I see it all. Yet, kids are kids. Nowadays, some will say that kids are different but its not that they are different, they just possess a different spirit because its a different world. You just have to play your role. Give love and kindness in abundance. You dont provoke kids, you love them. Sometimes that love is just simply a look. Our parents had the look, some where along the way, we forgot it. If it takes a village to raise a child, then the village need to do so. None of us should be afraid to discipline or love a child after all, perfect love casts out fear. Our love just has to be perfected in us to do so.