My 17 Year Old and Pressure (So He Says)

[Its Ok 2 B Quiet]

The oldest one is in his last year and he finished football but is now on the dance team. He was on it for 2 years straight and its very time consuming and expensive. With him being in his last year, it seems he needs to focus on his SATs, deciding what college he wants to attend, etc but the only thing on his mind is the dance team.

He is participating in a fraternity league program and some of the members said they could help him get into Tuskeegee (where he said he wanted to go) and that he should go to the black college expo this weekend to apply. But he is wanting to go to the dance competition and seems to be torn about what to decide.

The counselors at his school recommended he do two years at the community college which is "thinking" about doing. The Kappa member was talking to him and told him that it (going away to college) could be a positive experience for him and that it would help him in growing up to be a independent man.

On the way home from the meeting, he's sitting there sulking and looking sad. So I asked him what was wrong and he said "I just feel like everyone is pressuring me". He hasn't seen pressure......yet.

I love my son but I just think that he is copping out and afraid that its time to grow up. He tends to see only what he wants to see and not the big picture. It doesn't seem his priorities are in order (dance #1, then everything else).

Do any of you have kids this age that had similar issues?

[matrixone05]

Both of my kids are now in college. My daughter is graduating on Saturday and my son is in his 3rd year. They both had similiar issues with getting it together prior to graduating. I had to fuss and fuss about college application deadlines, scholarship deadlines, are your essays done, did you register for the SAT, ACT., are you studying..... Funny thing is, that most everyone I know who's child is at this stage goes through something similar.

I think they are ready to go and scared at the same time. And I don't think they know what the problem is. Keep pushing him and you might have to do what I and others I know did as well...make them sit down and do it. No options and you might be helping.

The next thing you might have to deal with is they tend to pull away, with attitude, that first year of school. It's like they are trying to find themselves and they tend to shut their parents out while they do it. It was not a great time for me and my 2. They do, however, realize they need that relationship and will sort it out.

I am so glad that era is done and over for me. Wish you the best with process.

[Its Ok 2 B Quiet]

Thank you. Right now he is driving me crazy and I blew up at him this morning. But in reading your post I am going to try again (calmly) to see how he's feeling. I think he's scared but he tries to do too much. Here's what he has planned for Saturday with me driving him:
1.) Black College Expo - Los Angeles
2.) School Dance Team Competition - Santa Ana
3.) Maybe a break - go home and get ready for next activity
4.) Fraternity League Christmas Dance from 8pm to 1am** - Los Angeles

**Note: This dance is for him so I gotta kill 5 hours (going home to far). I am actually thinking about getting hotel room and going to sleep.

He is giving me much attitude right now which pisses me off because I am the one that has his back.

[afrocentric]

i'm going thru the same thing. now i feel better knowing that i'm not the only one going to thru this. thanks for the advice ms matrixone.

[jimihaze]

My kid is going to start going to the ACT and SAT camps they have during the summer. So by the time my kid is ready to take the test for real it will be second nature.