Child Support

[RealTalk3000]

Is child Support a way of allowing men to not be in their kids life? Some guys saying since Im paying child support why should i be in my child's life. Is it a excuse or does he have a point? The child is a living being, not a paycheck. discuss

[DBlack]

Originally Posted by RealTalk3000

Is child Support a way of allowing men to not be in their kids life? Some guys saying since Im paying child support why should i be in my child's life. Is it a excuse or does he have a point? The child is a living being, not a paycheck. discuss

First, how do you feel about it? Do you think he has a point? Do you fee child support has anything to do with weather or not you should spend time with your kids?

[Talent]

Child Support is mechanism set in place by the state on behalf of the mother to ensure that the child needs are financially met by the biological father. Its the law, so do it.

Being a father is choice by the biological, while it would be great if all men, especially black men stood up and handled thier business, in reality and all to often growing numbers of young urban brothers do not.
Being a mother is choice, not a given, despite having given birth.
Some women cant handle the emotional investment, nurturing, and time necessary to properly raise a child or children. Sad, yet still a fact, it is in these cases where the court system steps in, administers, and regulates the fair and unfettered interaction by both parents in the custodial care and financial support of the child.

Often mothers use the child as a pawn in a play to control the man's role in HER relationship and in the childs life.
Because she still loves him.
There are countless cases where the man is not allowed to see the child by the mother because in her thinking she has deemed him not worthy because he no longer loves or wants her.
Its a painful excercise in futility because the women looks and behaves poorly, and the father looks like a chump.

What sense does it make to not see your own child, and even worse to allow someone,even the mother to prevent you from gaining access to them?

Child custody court ensures that the father needs are met by setting in place firm dates for visitation during the week and on holidays.
If the parental relationship is volative, an agent of the court can be appointed to oversee the exchange of the kids from one parent to the other to avoid conflict, and unnecessary discussions.

Fathers are entitled to 50% visitation, period. Mothers by fact of delivery have and typically retain primary custody.
Fatherly visits that the mother can not stop, ar ordered and expected to be observed by the mother, lest she face contempt of court, and possible jail sentencing.

Bottom line, if she uses the court system to impact your participation, you use the court system to equally impact hers.

So there should really be no problem, because to violate the court order in anyway other then obeying the law means jail time for the both the mother and the father.

[CatsPaw]

What continues to stump me about this whole subject when it relates to UNMARRIED parents is simply this.

It's almost 2008 and people still act like they don't know how preganancy happens.

It's almost 2008 and with all the methods available to prevent unintended pregnancy (on either persons part) out of wedlock pregnancy and births are still occurring.

I understand the desire for sex. What I fail to understand is why people that are not interested in commitment or marriage allow pregnancy to happen, except when birth control FAILS.

Condom usage is not just for disease prevention. A man strapping up without being asked is not an immediate cause for a woman to assume he thinks she could "give him something". A woman asking a man to strap up is not an indication that she thinks he will "give her something".

No man should assume a sexually active woman is on birth control and he should be automatically suspect if he would be allowed to "ride raw" on any intimate encounter regardless to how long their sexual relationship has been going on when they are NOT married.

Have all the sex you want just be safe and smart about it.

Then the only discussions about child support that will be going on are the ones between divorcing couples.

[The Dragon]

Originally Posted by CatsPaw

What continues to stump me about this whole subject when it relates to UNMARRIED parents is simply this.

It's almost 2008 and people still act like they don't know how preganancy happens.

It's almost 2008 and with all the methods available to prevent unintended pregnancy (on either persons part) out of wedlock pregnancy and births are still occurring.

I understand the desire for sex. What I fail to understand is why people that are not interested in commitment or marriage allow pregnancy to happen, except when birth control FAILS.

Condom usage is not just for disease prevention. A man strapping up without being asked is not an immediate cause for a woman to assume he thinks she could "give him something". A woman asking a man to strap up is not an indication that she thinks he will "give her something".

No man should assume a sexually active woman is on birth control and he should be automatically suspect if he would be allowed to "ride raw" on any intimate encounter regardless to how long their sexual relationship has been going on when they are NOT married.

Have all the sex you want just be safe and smart about it.

Then the only discussions about child support that will be going on are the ones between divorcing couples.

Sounds good in theory but in reality it just doesn't fly. I do agree that if most people were responsible like they should be this would not be a glaring issue. Plus marriage is not important any more so it makes this issue even more complicated.

[CatsPaw]

Yeah unfortunately marriage isn't very important anymore in the traditional way. Since women now have better earning capacities and can support themselves nicely when they leave their parents homes.

I talked with my mother about this subject and it was interesting to learn from her that when she graduated from college and went to work women were not offered health insurance, regular pay raises and the other perks in a job that women now expect. Women in the work force were basically seen as "temporary" workers until they married and had children, so all the benefits went to men as they were expected to marry and support wives and children. If a woman wanted these things then she needed to get married.

Not so anymore.

Here's a thought for the men. Since I have read it somewhere that pre-nups are not just for the rich in terms of protecting any assets going into a marriage would men consider a pre-sex agreement that would protect their assets in case of an unintended or premeditated pregnancy with a woman that was just a casual fling?

Kinda like that Dave Chappell skit.