Child Support - Page 2 - AfroChat - African American

The Dragon · November 19th, 2007, 09:07 PM

The child support laws deffinitely need some changing and adjustments. 62% of your income for child support? That is redicules. The income needed for the support should consider both parents incomes and responsibilities, I thought that this was how it was; I guess not.

Now I am not saying that the guy should get off the hook from supporting his child, not in the least bit but at the same time, some of these laws I keep hearing about seems to deliver more of a punishment then an equal distribution of funds to support a child.

And when the other parent marries, the spouse should be assumed to be supporting that child without making it his legal responsibility if he and the mom decide to break up. Come on now, if the parent gets married and both are working why the hell is the other parent still paying out the arse out of his pocket for support? The child should have just about all they need from the married parents. Who made these dorn laws? They do not bring families together, they create resentment IMHO.

I heard a story where a rich, married lawyer got his mistress pregnant and she had twins. He was ordered to pay her $21,000 a month!! What kind of madness is this? I ain't hatin on baby mom but this is rediclues... Who the hell NEEDS $21,000 a month to rear two children??????????

He tried to get the support lowered to $5,000 a month which I beleive would be more than suitable.... but the courts wasn't hearing it. Human being have a price, even babies!! This is so sad.

Yes, these laws are barbaric and need to be changed.

poeticasylum1 · November 19th, 2007, 11:08 PM

The system should be examined but in my case (which was about 8 yrs ago). I paid 20 percent of my income for one child. I dont know your situation but 62% is steep and the only thing I can think of is the arrears posibility which means that they calculate how old the child is and how much the state paid in food stamps or medicaid. The cold thing about it is they make you pay it back with interest. So i can see how that happened. What I liked about child support was the fact that I did get to see my daughter on a schedule. Many cats dont even bother which for the life me I will never understand. When you try to stuff under the table it can bite you in backside later on. Fortunately for me I kept reciepts, doctor bills in order not pay what they originally were trying to get. Strange enough, I wound getting custody later on but during that time it helped keep her in check because she could not pull stunts like many women do and dont let you see your child, just like she put those folks in my life, they were in hers as well. Its rough but it is what it is.

Queen Aminah · November 21st, 2007, 02:10 PM

I made a new thread because i didnt want to corrupt the other one but this is something I cant figure out.

I have a few friends who refuse to file for a child support. Their reasoning is that they arent going to "make" a man adhere to his responsiblities. Now these arent chicks that cant use the money, they are. They are struggling single mothers who just wont get that order. I dont understand it. Its about the child being cared for properly. It takes two to make a child and both should be responsible for it.

MzKwietStorm · November 21st, 2007, 02:13 PM

If she needs the assistance, she needs to file for child support, plain and simple. She needs to think about the welfare of her child first and not the man.

Mr Gumbo · November 21st, 2007, 02:23 PM

Well if you have to "make" a man take care of his responsiblities he ain't no man and just from reading that sounds like child support really wouldn't matter anyway.

Queen Aminah · November 21st, 2007, 02:28 PM

But I think it would matter. If he is working, his check can be garnished if he refuses. So even if he wasnt an active father at least he would be contributing to the care of said child. At least its something.

In the back of my mind i cant help but wonder if they are trying to leave the door open to get back with this person and feel dragging them to court would defeat the plan. Im just guessing here.

Mr Gumbo · November 21st, 2007, 02:45 PM

True, but I know dudes that will quit their job so they won't have to pay. SMH.

On the flip side of that, I don't understand men that complain about their baby mamma's and seeing their kid. I always tell them go file on yourself and you can see your kid without her trippin but they don't wanna do that.

Samoon · November 21st, 2007, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Queen Aminah

I made a new thread because i didnt want to corrupt the other one but this is something I cant figure out.

I have a few friends who refuse to file for a child support. Their reasoning is that they arent going to "make" a man adhere to his responsiblities. Now these arent chicks that cant use the money, they are. They are struggling single mothers who just wont get that order. I dont understand it. Its about the child being cared for properly. It takes two to make a child and both should be responsible for it.

Firstly? They are not "men." Secondly, it seems as though the rationale of your friends is "a power struggle" with these dead-beat dads rather than keeping their eyes on the prize---their children. And lastly, far too many of our people are victims of this: NOT elevating their thinking. I fear that nothing else will occur until this form of thinking is adopted by your friends.

poeticasylum1 · November 21st, 2007, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Queen Aminah

I made a new thread because i didnt want to corrupt the other one but this is something I cant figure out.

I have a few friends who refuse to file for a child support. Their reasoning is that they arent going to "make" a man adhere to his responsiblities. Now these arent chicks that cant use the money, they are. They are struggling single mothers who just wont get that order. I dont understand it. Its about the child being cared for properly. It takes two to make a child and both should be responsible for it.

It has been my experience through ministry that many women will not file child support because there is still somewhat a "connection" whether its emotional, psychological, or even physical. At my church we have helped some single mothers and we do encounter situations like these. They will have their hands out for help from the church but when we call them on their responsibilities as a parent (example: taking that rascal to court) they make excuses, they "claim" they dont want his help all sorts of crap. They dont realize they are hindering the parenting process by doing that mess. I have heard some say that the guys are hurting themselves in the long run, but they are the ones hurting and frustrated in the short and long term. Its ridiculous but thats how it see it A man should take up their responsibilities voluntarily but its your responsibility to make sure that he does so, if he wont step up.

The Dragon · November 22nd, 2007, 01:36 AM

I have an associate who is about to give birth to a baby by her former "cut-buddy." In other words, they were "booty call" buddies. She is due any day now and is planning on coming back to Michigan to file for child support because the supposed to be dad has declared he don't won't anything to do with the new baby and told her to "tell the court he did not want anything to do with the baby." He has been really nasty to her.

I told her she should try and get some support because she was thinking about giving the baby up for adoption for lack of resources to support it.

I am one who do not believe in making a man take care of his own child. If you don't want to care and support your own flesh and blood then I don't want ANYTHING to do with you. This is just my personal thing but if I were in dire need of course I would file and make his arse pay until I could get on my feet; After that, I would let him know he can now drop dead.

But of course, child support is crucial to single mothers.

But I also have to say that we need to make wiser decisions. Yea, men help us make babies but it is us who carrry it for 9 months and go through the pain of delivery; Only we can breast feed it; Whether a man is around or not, the baby will be with us most of the time; And when a woman is pregnant she is deffinitely the parent but no neccessarily the man she may be claiming to be the father. Like the saying goes, mommas baby, daddy's maybe.

Maybe this is the main problem with women who refuse to get child support from the so-called father, there relationship may have been a temporary or non-serious fling and there is more shame involved then anything else. I don't know, I have never been in this situation and pray I never will.

I really feel for sistahs out there shouldering the emotional, financial, etc.. burden of taken care of children, alone.