Teenagers and Sex

[MzKwietStorm]

Saw this question on another forum and wanted to see what the community thought about it.

If your 15 year old teenager (boy or girl) informed you that she is ready to have sex, what would your response be?

[UglymanCometh]

"Chill out, it's overrated."

I was kinda pissed when I got older and discovered that...

[sonflour_2001]

Tryin to think about what my mother and father would say. They were strangely very liberal on the issue of sex.
Discussions used to come up in our mid-teens. Here's what they had to say:

My father promptly replied "Take care of yourself until you're 18, these little boys don't know what they doin anyway." (Afterwards he walks off grumbling about younguns not even knowing where a hole is, while Mom laughs and hits him playfully. Meanwhile my sister and I ponder why we don't have a normal family that would blush and avoid such discussions.)
When my sister and I reached the appropriate age, (my parents felt it was about 18 or upon entering college...) this is what my mother said.
" There are condoms, female condoms, birth control, spermicide, diaphrams, day after pills, day before pills, tube tying, pull out methods, masturbation, abstinence...

With all the stuff on the market, ain't no excuse for your natural black *** to bring no baby in my house! No children out of wedlock! No abortions! That doesn't run in our family. Everybody gets urges but you better make sure you don't end up with some fish you can't throw back!"
Dad nods his head punctuated with an "mmmmhmmm" every 6 seconds.

I rather liked the way my parents handled the whole sex thing. In my family we talk about it out in the open. It's a comfortable atmosphere discussing stuff like that with parents. Needless to say, when I was a young kid in elementary school, I wasn't popular with other parents as I always felt the need to explain my knowledge of the human anatomy to my classmates.

"What's a penis?" Asked my 6 year best friend.
"It's apart of the male atonomy (couldn't pronounce the word anatomy when I was 6) and it goes into the vagina," I answered helpfully.
"I'm tellin my momma!" she yelled.

...chaos ensued...
*I was also that little kid that told all the other children that Santa didn't exist. I was sooo evil. Knew exactly what I was doin too! Lol!

Sonflour

[Samoon]

When I was a kid, when my parents read the evening paper or read a book, I was right there too. Hence, really there was not much more to add or to "reinforce" with me due to my rather broad knowledge of sex and human reproduction. Discussions of ALL subjects were openly discussed with my sibs and myself. Heck, we used to try to make our PARENTS blush...lol! (Didn't work!) Any-hoo, no one had to find a comfort zone for "permission" to DO for we KNEW what the expectations were for all of us.

(Sonflour, I am borrowing your words here):

"When my sister and I reached the appropriate age, (my parents felt it was about 18 or upon entering college...) this is what my mother said.
" There are condoms, female condoms, birth control, spermicide, diaphrams, day after pills, day before pills, tube tying, pull out methods, masturbation, abstinence..." So flushing a kid down the tubes is no excuse.

[ardamus]

"Do it and you're dead" is my exact response to my kids. If I ever have any that is.

[afrocentric]

Originally Posted by sonflour_2001

Tryin to think about what my mother and father would say. They were strangely very liberal on the issue of sex.
Discussions used to come up in our mid-teens. Here's what they had to say:

My father promptly replied "Take care of yourself until you're 18, these little boys don't know what they doin anyway." (Afterwards he walks off grumbling about younguns not even knowing where a hole is, while Mom laughs and hits him playfully. Meanwhile my sister and I ponder why we don't have a normal family that would blush and avoid such discussions.)
When my sister and I reached the appropriate age, (my parents felt it was about 18 or upon entering college...) this is what my mother said.
" There are condoms, female condoms, birth control, spermicide, diaphrams, day after pills, day before pills, tube tying, pull out methods, masturbation, abstinence...

With all the stuff on the market, ain't no excuse for your natural black *** to bring no baby in my house! No children out of wedlock! No abortions! That doesn't run in our family. Everybody gets urges but you better make sure you don't end up with some fish you can't throw back!"
Dad nods his head punctuated with an "mmmmhmmm" every 6 seconds.

I rather liked the way my parents handled the whole sex thing. In my family we talk about it out in the open. It's a comfortable atmosphere discussing stuff like that with parents. Needless to say, when I was a young kid in elementary school, I wasn't popular with other parents as I always felt the need to explain my knowledge of the human anatomy to my classmates.

"What's a penis?" Asked my 6 year best friend.
"It's apart of the male atonomy (couldn't pronounce the word anatomy when I was 6) and it goes into the vagina," I answered helpfully.
"I'm tellin my momma!" she yelled.

...chaos ensued...
*I was also that little kid that told all the other children that Santa didn't exist. I was sooo evil. Knew exactly what I was doin too! Lol!

Sonflour

dam, u was terrible(laffin about the santa clause drama)..

but anyway...agreeing with your parents and they was nicer.

shoo, not my grandma, she didn't play that. these was her exact words......" Gon n bring a baybe up in hare eff u won't too, you and tha lazy sonofabitch is gittin on up outta hare. yall gonna raze that lil bastard on yall on. I ain't got time for no oter nappy head chile. My raising days is over. And whars my damn rent money?" (walking off and grumbling)

mmm hmm, grandma didn't play that!!....

[matrixone05]

Nothing has ever been off the table for discussion with my children.

I taught them from the time they were little that their bodies were the most precious thing they owned and not to cheapen it by just giving it away. That not only should they love who they were with, that person should love them as well and it takes more than words to say I Love You.

When they became teenagers I told them to be careful who they interacted with. Every relationship they entered, no matter how deep it became had the potential to affect every relationship they had in the future. And getting sexually involved too soon, might mean they were blocking the blessing God had for them later in life. I used this example to explain it.

You determine in a large part what you like or dislike, will tolerate or not tolerate, what turns you on or off in a relationship, based upon previous experiences. So if you meet someone and start to get physical with that person and you like the way they kiss you, or touch you, then that in part is what stays with you for life. However, that person really wasn't the person for you and life goes on. You meet someone that intellectually stimulates your mind and knows how to stir your soul, but.... He/She doesn't quite kiss the way you'd like them to, or they don't quite have the same touch that you became accustomed to. Will you be happy with that person or not.

If not, could it be because you moved to fast with the wrong one and if you had waited, could the touch of that one that does stir your soul, (but not your body) have also been the touch that also moved you physically.

Life lesson, your past does affect your future, in ways you can never imagine.

[Mr Gumbo]

Use a condom and be sure that's what you want to do. By 15 we will already be having deep convesations about sex and everything under the sun. I would definitly tell him how I want him to wait but it's not me, easy for me to say when I was having sex way before 15.

[Chelbe]

Man, I dont even want to think about it. I have a 18 year old cousin, like a little sister to me and I don't even want to face that she is.. well maybe.. but she better not.. be having sex. With that being said, I know that "you better not" tactic is not always the road to take.

I would want to find out why they felt they were "ready" for sex and how in sam hill did they come to that conclusion. There is so much more to sex than the act alone and so much more to love than sex (imo).

If at 15 my child came to me saying he/she was ready to have sex, after I firmly disagree, I would calm down and go over the consequences, responsibilities that come with sex and how there are so many more things to look forward to at 15. I would hope that my child decide's to wait it out... because it is SO very overrated.

I would love to just say, no.. you will not have or think about sex until I tell you so.

[Mr Gumbo]

I keep hearing women saying it's so overrated but to men it's not. One of the problems us men have is women and sex, of course I'm generalizing but look at all we risk because of sex.