When do you tell?

[saraphen]

Originally Posted by the_truth

If it's the bio mom and bio father why tell? Does it really matter?

It wouldn't matter if NOBODY, I mean NOBODY, relative, friend, somebody who knew you "when", makes a big deal of it in front of your child, and makes him feel inferior because of it.

[Cheese Biscuit]

Originally Posted by saraphen

You and your son's other parent got married after he was born. Do you plan to tell him that he was born out of wedlock? When will he be old enough to know?

I don't think that the child would appreciate finding out by reading that little tibbit in an obituary.

I know a couple of people who never had a clue. They found out at the funeral along with lots of other people.

[drtrae2004]

I think the guiding factor in telling versus not is the well being of the child. I am speaking from experience because it happened to me. My mother did not tell me until I was grown up (junior in college). I am glad she did it that way because children are precious and growing up can be very difficult. The last thing a kid needs with all the peer pressure and biological changes and feelings is something that might add to the whoas. I say no tell until it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter when it will not adversely impact the child. The child is the ONLY concern here.

[naskiecenye]

I think that if you wait too long than you are setting yourself up because children are not dumb my son's are five and seven and they ask me and my boyfriend all the time when we getting married. I guess there are somethings i want to do before i get married but I agree with blak because children are smarter than we think