Why aren't parents more involved in their children's schools?

[pink_panther]

Originally Posted by sonflour_2001

Sweden has a lot of beautiful things going for it right now. In fact it's one of the most popular countries for immigration and it's population is being damaged because of it.

Sonflour

Its famous in foreign media to be damaged cause of imigration after 9/11 when the world became anti middle east.

Immigration/minorities are always a "problem", When the irish started to come to america, the native english said they would be trouble. Then came the Italians and they where the trouble and hated by the Americans (Irish, English). Then the blacks migrated from the south and became the problem. Today its mexicans.

In the 50s the british didnt like the massive imigration from Africa and said that the blacks would be the masters in this pace, they said it would happen in about 15 years time. Wich is around 1965...

A lot of sweeds got angry when Fox news went to an arab neighbourhood and claimed that it was an moslim immigration problem. "Moslims are so violent that Ambulances need police escort"...

But this was after 9/11...

Immigrants are very important for a nations economy cause they get all the jobs nobody wants, in poor nations they have children working cause they have no imigrants.

[poeticasylum1]

Its an individual decision. Sometimes its timing. Sometimes its work. Sometimes its N/A. With all the testing going on, they have meetings for things like how to prepare your kid for the TAAS and all this stuff that is almost common sense. I dont knock it, if your kid needs the help then by all means go. However, I see it as being the problem with school honestly. Kids are not learning because they are always being tested by some standardize test, which pisses me off because the children are not being built up in knowledge. In Texas, its a real issue. Now things like programs for learning, security issues are important and parents should be apart. I think at the beginning of the each school year, there should a mandatory meeting for parents and students with the school to identify teachers concerns, educational concerns and resource concerns. It seems we are spending more out of pocket for free education than ever before. Hey, Im not an educator but i will play one here and I think those are some of the problems that all of us face.

[jimihaze]

The parents as someone said are either working or they are uninformed. This still is not to be taken as an easy way out. The child or children should be the most important issue when it comes to there education. The school board should and can be made to accommodate parents or guardians of the child or children. Just as the parents and guardians can and should be made to accommodate there children. Yes it will take extra efforts on both sides.

[Lediamand]

I think alot of parents nowadays weren't meant to be parents, especially the ones who had children at a very young age. These parents lack all the fundamentals needed to raise a child. With that said you also have the single parent issue that really take away their time. Its not like they don't want to be there but they are mostly working two or three jobs that really don't allow them time for anything else.

Yes selfishness and other things come into play as well as some of them don't really care about the kids education. This is a very fundamental issue that the Black community is facing.

[Great Ursus]

Having raised two, I'd say the problem is with the teachers. Most are patronizing and condescending when it comes to what they expect from you versus the child and don't really think of themselves as being any part of the problem. When my son's (my youngest) teacher began to have problems with him in 3rd grade, I asked about what they were learning at the time. She told me the boy had completed his work and was bored, but, she gave him no extra (advanced) work, which I suggested she do and she said she would.
She never did. With the bad behavior continuing (according to her she even told me he would'nt do the extra work (that's when I knew she was lying, the kids a naturally curious person) I turned up at his class to find him separated from the main group, alone, lonely and fidgiting. My son ran to me and jumped in to my arms clinging to me, trying to hold back tears (the boy's not prone to emotionalism.). We had some lunch, and walked in the park and he told me the teacher would often single him out. I gave up on public schools at the end of the year and put him in a charter, Now at 17 he's in an Engineering program at the local college.
The teacher, a white woman couldn't explain her actions and when I suggested a possible racial quotient, the black principal leapt to her defense, though most parents I spoke with had the same complaint of the woman.
Race or no, teachers are indesposable to the mental disposition of the kids. If they don't take their end seriously...
Well, we see what happens huh?

[Evil_eyez]

Originally Posted by Great Ursus

Having raised two, I'd say the problem is with the teachers. Most are patronizing and condescending when it comes to what they expect from you versus the child and don't really think of themselves as being any part of the problem. When my son's (my youngest) teacher began to have problems with him in 3rd grade, I asked about what they were learning at the time. She told me the boy had completed his work and was bored, but, she gave him no extra (advanced) work, which I suggested she do and she said she would.
She never did. With the bad behavior continuing (according to her she even told me he would'nt do the extra work (that's when I knew she was lying, the kids a naturally curious person) I turned up at his class to find him separated from the main group, alone, lonely and fidgiting. My son ran to me and jumped in to my arms clinging to me, trying to hold back tears (the boy's not prone to emotionalism.). We had some lunch, and walked in the park and he told me the teacher would often single him out. I gave up on public schools at the end of the year and put him in a charter, Now at 17 he's in an Engineering program at the local college.
The teacher, a white woman couldn't explain her actions and when I suggested a possible racial quotient, the black principal leapt to her defense, though most parents I spoke with had the same complaint of the woman.
Race or no, teachers are indesposable to the mental disposition of the kids. If they don't take their end seriously...
Well, we see what happens huh?

As a teacher, these are the exact behaviors that I try to avoid. However I know where you are coming from because I have witnessed it first hand and have experienced it when I went to my sister's school to deal with some issues of misbehavior as well. These types of teachers need to be fired or totally retrained. Though I know that the job of a teacher is very difficult that teacher should know that a strong relationship with parents curbs misbehaviour. That's one of the first things you learn when you start studying to become a teacher. Hope your son is doing well now. Teachers like that can affect a child's performance and attitude for years.

[Great Ursus]

Originally Posted by Evil_eyez

As a teacher, these are the exact behaviors that I try to avoid. However I know where you are coming from because I have witnessed it first hand and have experienced it when I went to my sister's school to deal with some issues of misbehavior as well. These types of teachers need to be fired or totally retrained. Though I know that the job of a teacher is very difficult that teacher should know that a strong relationship with parents curbs misbehaviour. That's one of the first things you learn when you start studying to become a teacher. Hope your son is doing well now. Teachers like that can affect a child's performance and attitude for years.

Thank you for your concern sis, he's older and better off but all will tell in time. As I've said before, we can teach, but kids have got to LEARN and all this is part of the learning process.
Next to the ministry, teaching has to be the hardest job in the world, every child being a new map to a different land where each teacher has to figure out the best way to benefit that land and leave it undamaged.
It ain't easy, but some just don't care.
I was a child of Modern Integration, so I'm not only sensitive to those white teachers who have a problem with our kids, I knew it when I see it. Doubly disconcerting is the many "black" teachers who seem interested only in keeping working relationships alive at the children's expense.
However, I had white teacher's (Mrs. Anthony, Mr. Lynch, Mr.Ziegler who passed away recently) who took the job seriously and helped me bear down. However the ones who made it a race thing, I remember most vividly.
So, my kids have been coddled on the fruits of unfairness, and have learned to go around it to get what they want. I always tell them that they will try to raise the fence on you, but you should just learn to jump higher, make it look easy,
And scare the hell out of them.

[Evil_eyez]

^ It's parents like you that make my job that much more enjoyable. I too have had similar situations when I was attending high school.
There was this teacher that was so mean and degraded students. He would call students stupid and much more. There were numerous complaints to the directors to no avail. He targetted the students that filed complaints to the directors. He would never answer our questions, he graded us unfairly. Thus I stopped going to his class. He would make comments in the class in the direction of "Those that aren't coming to class will fail". However when I sat my exams I passed without his teachings. Though I had some very good teachers, he is the one that sicks in my head. This was about 5 years ago. He is now teaching at another high school and the complaints are the same. I shrivel at the thought of the students that will have to endure his wrath and be affected by him for years to come.
I'm glad you motivate your kids in such a way. Some parents should take a note from you.

[sugar_sugar]

I'm not in eductaion but I can tell you what my husband and BFF have relayed to me (both are teachers, one elementary and one jr high).

The main thing I hear constantly is that the parents don't care. They expect the teachers to be teachers, parents, counselors, tutors, doctors, babysitters...you name it. If a note gets sent home about poor grades/homework not getting done, the parents complain because somehow it's the teacher's fault. If they send a note home for a conference, they don't show. There was even an instance where a teacher HELPED one of his students with some extra credit so she could play in her sport... the parent's response? "Can't you give her a higher grade than that?"

I completely agree with this: "Yes selfishness and other things come into play as well as some of them don't really care about the kids education. This is a very fundamental issue that the Black community is facing."

I have to commend teachers because it is such a difficult profession.. it can't be easy to know that something you do or say can affect a child for a lifetime!

[Evil_eyez]

Originally Posted by sugar_sugar

I'm not in eductaion but I can tell you what my husband and BFF have relayed to me (both are teachers, one elementary and one jr high).

The main thing I hear constantly is that the parents don't care. They expect the teachers to be teachers, parents, counselors, tutors, doctors, babysitters...you name it. If a note gets sent home about poor grades/homework not getting done, the parents complain because somehow it's the teacher's fault. If they send a note home for a conference, they don't show. There was even an instance where a teacher HELPED one of his students with some extra credit so she could play in her sport... the parent's response? "Can't you give her a higher grade than that?"

I completely agree with this: "Yes selfishness and other things come into play as well as some of them don't really care about the kids education. This is a very fundamental issue that the Black community is facing."

I have to commend teachers because it is such a difficult profession.. it can't be easy to know that something you do or say can affect a child for a lifetime!

That is the downside to be an educator. Parents feel that it is completely our responsibility to take care of their child. I sometimes think that they forget what a parent is.

nice post sugar_sugar!