What Age Would You Adopt

[DBlack]

The wife and I were talking about adobption the other day, when she asked me a question: "Do you want to adopt one older or younger?" The more I think about it, the more I have to think about.

I am leaning towards younger, because although babies are a LOT of work, the opportunity to form greater bonds with the child is so much better.

IMO, older kids tend to become more difficult to deal with in a behavioral since as their personality has taken form, and they have some already estabilished personality traits, behavoiral issues, etc.....

Your thoughts..?

[Blak]

Those thoughts you have are exactly what most people have I think. I have heard that once a child aproaches 10 years old....they will most likely never leave the system. That is unfortunate. I agree that personalities get formed and the child may be more work. Maybe people who want to adopt should take older kids first then have biological and younger adopted kids later. The older ones would need much attention I would think.

I intend to have at least one adopted child in my family when the time comes....I have always thought that was the thing to do....not sure where I got the idea but as I got older it did not fade away.

I think any child under 10 is young enough to mold into what you are thinking a child of your should be like....but it depends on the family they were from and if they had fetal alcohal syndrome or were crack babies on top of what ever abuse or neglect they may have suffered. This is all guess work though.

Blak

[Intelligent_One]

I would adopt a younger child as well. It's sad to know that mostly older children are being passed up for the younger ones.

Blak, I read on a site that you should have your biological children first and then adopt. The reason you should do that is b/c your adopted children will think that they are not wanted and you finally want to have your own kids. The adopted child(ren) will feel that they should take a back seat.

[Babydoll]

I would adopt younger.
There's a slimmer chance that the child will have irreparable damage at a younger age.

[Blak]

Originally Posted by Intelligent_One

I would adopt a younger child as well. It's sad to know that mostly older children are being passed up for the younger ones.

Blak, I read on a site that you should have your biological children first and then adopt. The reason you should do that is b/c your adopted children will think that they are not wanted and you finally want to have your own kids. The adopted child(ren) will feel that they should take a back seat.

Thanks....that makes good sense...I will keep it in mind :)

Blak

[JamieC]

I adopted my neice when she was 6 mos old and it's turned out just fine. I'm not in your shoes to say well "If I were you I'd do this or that" because I'm not. However, if the both of you research it together, you might find the answer your'e looking for.

[Harmony]

Originally Posted by dBlack

The wife and I were talking about adoption the other day, when she asked me a question: "Do you want to adopt one older or younger?" The more I think about it, the more I have to think about.

I am leaning towards younger, because although babies are a LOT of work, the opportunity to form greater bonds with the child is so much better.

IMO, older kids tend to become more difficult to deal with in a behavioral since as their personality has taken form, and they have some already estabilished personality traits, behavoiral issues, etc.....

Your thoughts..?

Although younger children are usually better suited for shaping and molding, it does not exempt them from forming personality quirks AFTER reaching an older age.

Just as an older child has been set in their mindset and that of their prior environment, they COULD just as easily be introduced to a new mindset and way of life that could act as the catalyst for a positive change.

I know of a few instances where an adopted child was received at birth, had the best that life could offer from two parents and then blanked out once they got to be pre-teen/teenagers.

I am also aware of instances where a child was older, had anger/trust issues and rained hell on the adoptive family, BUT after much sacrifice, patience, understanding, and the willingness to prove to this child that he/she was loved and wanted by somebody, the child flourished and went on to be a top achiever in school and maintained a more optimistic outlook on life.

So, adopting younger does not necessarily guarantee less stressful days of rearing. IMO

[naskiecenye]

I am and allowed to have my own children, while i've enjoyed raising them from precious babies to eventually becoming young men, When i adopt i will adopt older children because its not like i havent experenced raising younger children, i'm thinking between the ages of 10- 17years old

shoot i could us a baby sitter for these suckers lol just kidding

[Chelbe]

I was adopted at 1, which appears to make the situation better. I see so many good and bad things about me being adopted, but that's a whole other story. The only good thing about my situation is that being adopted at 1, I have a foundation with the family.
Anyway, the older the child, the more guidance they need IMO. So many need help and people passing them over for what may be more convenient does not assist. It can be a complicating task, but so is raising your own child to the best of your ability, only to then get down the road and have them act like they were taught nothing and you trying to figure out whose child is that.
If I was to adopt, I would initially want to adopt a newborn so that I don't miss out on those stages in life, but also to adopt a 8,9,10 etc... year old is less selfish on my part. JMO.