Is this bad parenting?

[Chelbe]

I don't think you are wrong at all. The old man should not have had to say anything at all... he was probably waiting on them to say something.

[isistah]

Originally Posted by RanRan

I honestly think they were both wrong. For one thing, as you pointed out, the bus was in motion and it was dangerous for them to be up and about cuz anything could have happened. Second of all, they are at that age where hometraining 101 is to begin, full fledge. Manners and respect are so uncommon these days for young folks (and some old ones too) that it would be no surprise that this is exactly how it all begins.

As for the old man, even if the kids were getting on his nerves, as I'm sure they were and I know the feeling, he was probably just being mean and nasty himself. I have been "accosted" by small, unruly children in public before and I roll with the punches. I might talk to them myself, try to strike up a conversation, see if they know their ABCs or something, hoping it calms them down long enough for everyone to chill. I might play a little game with them, anything. I certainly wouldn't have bothered to say anything to the parents about it cuz to me the situation wasn't that serious.

But I deal with kids all the time in my family so I can understand if everyone's patience with them isn't as good as mine.

I was wearing "dry clean only" myself, and would have simply gotten up if I were sitting there. I wouldn't have said anything to the parents. Nowadays, to comment is to invite trouble; he should've known that. For a few moments, I was really afraid for him.
It's sad.

Originally Posted by lapsdad

The Mom I mentioned usually gives in to whatever her kids want, when they don't get what they want when THEY want it they scream, kick the back of the car seat, throw things, basically what ever they feel like doing and she just gives them whatever they want to make them happy. She told me once that "I have sanity to maintain". She got mad at me when she said they needed "direction"...and I agreed. Asked me if I thought they were bad, when I said yes she flipped out on me. They really control her.

I hate for people to ask me a question and then act a fool cuz they don't like the answer. Lapsdad, whomever the lady is you're referring to is in line for a world of hurt. These are the type of kids who grow up to get involved in all kinds of ish that isn't good for anyone. She should check that ASAP.

Originally Posted by isistah

I was wearing "dry clean only" myself, and would have simply gotten up if I were sitting there. I wouldn't have said anything to the parents. Nowadays, to comment is to invite trouble; he should've known that. For a few moments, I was really afraid for him.
It's sad.

Unfortunately we do live in a world where a simple criticism can turn into a deadly situation. That is sad. But at the same time I think we're turning into a society that doesn't like to deal with kids at all. I mean how much would it have taken out of that guy to pay the child some attention?

[Corals]

That to me, is bad parenting. Some parents just let their kids run wild regardless of where they are, and for the dad to make a fuss, just shows what kind of parents/people they are.

I remember a few years back while I was sitting on the bus, a young lady boarded with her son. The minute he got on the bus he stated misbehaving, swing from the seats, jumping up and down and God knows what else. The mother just sat there oblivious to what was going on. Everyone on the bus was getting irritated because while he was doing his song and dance, he was shouting. Sorry to say this, but for a second I wished the bus would turn a sharp corner and send him flying.

That is another bad example of parenting, or parents who have no control over their children.

[MzKwietStorm]

That is definitely bad parenting! No question about it.

[isistah]

Originally Posted by RanRan

I hate for people to ask me a question and then act a fool cuz they don't like the answer. Lapsdad, whomever the lady is you're referring to is in line for a world of hurt. These are the type of kids who grow up to get involved in all kinds of ish that isn't good for anyone. She should check that ASAP.



Unfortunately we do live in a world where a simple criticism can turn into a deadly situation. That is sad. But at the same time I think we're turning into a society that doesn't like to deal with kids at all. I mean how much would it have taken out of that guy to pay the child some attention?

Everyone does not get a warm fuzzy feeling at the sight of a small child. Let's face it, there are people who just don't like to be around kids. And we all know that children are brutalized worldwide everyday. I don't think it's a good idea to let your child intrude on a total stranger's personal space.

[Corals]

Originally Posted by lapsdad

The Mom I mentioned usually gives in to whatever her kids want, when they don't get what they want when THEY want it they scream, kick the back of the car seat, throw things, basically what ever they feel like doing and she just gives them whatever they want to make them happy. She told me once that "I have sanity to maintain". She got mad at me when she said they needed "direction"...and I agreed. Asked me if I thought they were bad, when I said yes she flipped out on me. They really control her.

They sound like a bunch of spoilt brats to me.

[RaInEdomThoughtz]

Originally Posted by Corals

They sound like a bunch of spoilt brats to me.

Exactly. I cant understand how parents can let themselves be ruled by their children. Sometimes you have to spank their a**es. I was told when I was young. "The whooping you get from me is nothing compared to the whooping the world will give you if you dont act right". These parents need to stop pacifying these kids and trying to be their "friend" and focus on being a strong role model for them.

[Lee-Lee34]

What i have to say is that i felt sorry for the (man) on the bus, And the other thing the parents to those kids they have not taught the babies how to act in a public place or no the bus.. I still ride the cat-bus and i see it everytime i ride the bus sometime i would say something about the children and their are cool Parents, And on the other hand their are a--holes Parents and can't tell them nothing about there kids they think tere children is perfect..

[LadyNoir]

I don't like to be around unruly, bad children (INCLUDING RELATIVES' BAD CHILDREN). There was absolutely no excuse for these two children's behavior and no excuse for the parent's behavior either. The parents were definitely wrong. The man paid his fare, was on the bus before the children got on and should not have been subjected to that kind of behavior nor should he have had to get up from his seat. I wonder, had the man been Black, would it have gone down like that? Further, had the man been young enough to defend himself against the children's father, would it have gone down like that? I doubt very seriously that it would've!

I'm old enough to remember when younger people would get up to give their seats to older people. I work in a childrens clinic and I have seen many a parent/grandparent slapped right in the face by these "sweet" little children when they can't have their way (let me hasten to say that, so far, I have not seen any Black children slap their mothers or grandmothers). These people threaten their "little darlings" with "Time-Out," and other "serious" (ha, ha) consequences, or they will bribe them, telling them they will take them to McDonalds or Chucky Cheese in order to try to get them to stop acting up, but neither the bribes nor the "threats" make a bit of difference. And when they fall out and drop to the floor, one of their favorite acts of defiance, and start rolling, kicking, and screaming, that gets it!

I've even heard small children call their parents names. I didn't wait for mine to reach the age of 2. I began with him at about 10 months, when he first started walking. I also taught him right from wrong and began early, around two and a half years of age, teaching him various academic skills such as how to read. He was a very good pupil and by the time he was 5 he could read VERY well, including the New York Times VERY fluently.

I taught him how to respect himself, and others, especially the elderly. He, even now, as an adult, is very mannerly, a gentleman, and is very respectful of others. I taught and I spanked, only as needed. Appropriate spanking is not wrong. Just as ears seem to be designed for holding up eyeglasses, the lower backside seems to be designed for spanking when necessary, but I can honestly testify that I very rarely had to spank as he had sense enough to listen (a true blessing!)

I always felt it was better for me to spank in love than to let him have his way and wind up in the streets positioning himself to be brutalized by the police with their batons or night sticks or whatever they're called. We "can't spank," but they can get the living daylights beaten out of them by the police. I nipped all that mess in the bud, in the house!