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Jewels0479 · June 30th, 2008, 10:28 PM

I have a brother who is into dating interracially. I must say that it bothers me and in all honesty, I see it as sign of weakness. I am not saying this without having experience with several other black men who date women of other races. I currently live in an area where there is a lot of interacial dating. I have always had the mindset of "to each his own", "if he wants her, he definitely won't want me", "who you are attracted to is who you are attracted to" and other very passive approaches to confronting a sensitive issue. However, it has been my experience that the majority of black men who date women of other races have issues with regards to strong black women. By strong I don't mean the hand on the hip, finger waving in your face, loud, opinionated, neckrolling "strenght" that is portrayed in the media or you see in some black women. I mean a woman who is confident, intelligent, strongminded and comfortable with who she is. Oh, and God forbid she be dark skinned! (Yes, I'm speaking of myself.) I think that as someone else mentioned earlier in this thread that society has made it very hard for black men to feel good about black women. Just as it has made it hard for black women to feel good about black men. There is a feeling of having arrived or validation that they think that they gain through dating women of other races. I now see black men who date women of other races as a slap in the face. Not because they choose to date others but because they totally ignore black women. It says a lot about how we are perceived in society. I think that these men are sellouts. Now, there are some black men who fall in love with someone of a different race by chance and that is just that. These people tend to not treat black women like the plague.

I also know some white girls who date black men exclusively. They CRAVE only them. One actually called me one night to tell me that she was with a black guy who said that he doesn't date black girls because he doesn't think that they are "hot". That hurt me as a black woman to know that a black man would say that to a white woman about us.

Also, I have also noticed that many of the hispanic men in my area date white women. They also see it as a sign of status and actually are offended if you ask if they speak Spanish. They want to assimilate so badly that they water down and reject who they are.

I think that pressuring your son to date only black girls would be detrimental. I would try and involve him in something extracurricular that puts him around intelligent, wellrounded black kids. This would allow him to see that there are some black girls out there who are like him and he may bond with them.

June 30th, 2008, 10:28 PM	#11 (permalink)
Jewels0479 Afro Resident Occasional 2Cents Jewels0479 is offline Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 90 Thanks: 0 Thanked 15 Times in 11 Posts Rep Power: 0 Credits: 587	I have a brother who is into dating interracially. I must say that it bothers me and in all honesty, I see it as sign of weakness. I am not saying this without having experience with several other black men who date women of other races. I currently live in an area where there is a lot of interacial dating. I have always had the mindset of "to each his own", "if he wants her, he definitely won't want me", "who you are attracted to is who you are attracted to" and other very passive approaches to confronting a sensitive issue. However, it has been my experience that the majority of black men who date women of other races have issues with regards to strong black women. By strong I don't mean the hand on the hip, finger waving in your face, loud, opinionated, neckrolling "strenght" that is portrayed in the media or you see in some black women. I mean a woman who is confident, intelligent, strongminded and comfortable with who she is. Oh, and God forbid she be dark skinned! (Yes, I'm speaking of myself.) I think that as someone else mentioned earlier in this thread that society has made it very hard for black men to feel good about black women. Just as it has made it hard for black women to feel good about black men. There is a feeling of having arrived or validation that they think that they gain through dating women of other races. I now see black men who date women of other races as a slap in the face. Not because they choose to date others but because they totally ignore black women. It says a lot about how we are perceived in society. I think that these men are sellouts. Now, there are some black men who fall in love with someone of a different race by chance and that is just that. These people tend to not treat black women like the plague. I also know some white girls who date black men exclusively. They CRAVE only them. One actually called me one night to tell me that she was with a black guy who said that he doesn't date black girls because he doesn't think that they are "hot". That hurt me as a black woman to know that a black man would say that to a white woman about us. Also, I have also noticed that many of the hispanic men in my area date white women. They also see it as a sign of status and actually are offended if you ask if they speak Spanish. They want to assimilate so badly that they water down and reject who they are. I think that pressuring your son to date only black girls would be detrimental. I would try and involve him in something extracurricular that puts him around intelligent, wellrounded black kids. This would allow him to see that there are some black girls out there who are like him and he may bond with them.