[mlc0908]

Welcome to the family sis! I can relate to your story and it took a while and a lot of heartbreak for me to realize that I wasnt being treated fairly. Neither are you. This man is having his cake and eating it too and you have allowed him to have a giant comfort zone which he doesnt seem to deserve, appreciate, or respect. However he does seem to take you for granted and use his "baggage" as means to justify his actions, behavior and the way he treats you. I know you love him but you deserve better. Dont feel as if its too late to find another man...its never too late. Wouldnt you rather spend your time dating other men while on the quest to find the one who acknowledges you for all that you are and treats you accordingly, instead of wasting your time on a man who probably will be the same cheating, love abusing user loser? I would hope so. If not, are you interested, ready and willing to spend the next 19 years going through the same thing?

Whats this pre-committment thing about and do you actually believe its going to make a difference? IMO you dont really need to pay an outside source to listen to the two of you talk about the last 19 years in order for you to decide what to do about tomorrow. You know him well enough to know if he's on the up and up, finally ready to committ or still stringing your relationship along. Sounds to me like youre settling and have lowered your standards enough to accept less than what you want, need or deserve. Dont cheat or lie to yourself sis, theres enough of that going around already. I'm sure youve told him how he makes you feel and what you want from him and if that hasnt made a difference an ultimatum just may make matters worse. Besides, youre in control of what you do-and he should know that, so giving him a choice is an open invitation to keep on doing what he's been doing. He needs to know that youre serious and understand that you will be the one to decide if he's worthy of you or not. No matter what any of us say, you have to do what's right and best for you. I hope all goes well. Peace and blessings to you and yours.