The attitudes of my oldest sons are light night and day. I use to try and treat them the same but finally my light came on that you can't - they're two different people with different personalities. While I know the oldest isn't a saint, he's been consistent with his actions. He stays busy with activities, doesn't hang out with negative folks, does his school work and when it does slip, he's quick to pull up.
My middle son is on a totally different page. He doesn't seem to want to go to school and he does just enough to get through but never really applies himself. Thing is he is so smart and very technical - he will not apply himself to much of anything. If I ask him what he wants to do, he just says "I don't know". He stays involved in drama at school and most of the time its pertaining to girls and his so-called friends. Always concerned with how he looks, wants nice things but doesn't want to work for anything. There have been teachers, me, assistant principal who try and be supportive; to encourage him, motivate him to do what we know he can do. Then he makes stupid decisions (i.e., cut class, not doing work, talking in class, etc.). And he never takes responsibility for his actions - even when its clearly his doing.
When I get in his ***, he acts like something is wrong with me. Its like he doesn't care about anything or anyone unless he's getting his way. He gets mad because he feels that his brother gets more attention but he gets it because he's involved in more activities. He has to be dropped off and picked up a lot. He doesn't get grounded because he doesn't give a reason to be grounded and I feel that he's trying to use this as a cop out. I've shadowed him at school all day, chewed him out in front of class, grounded, taken things away, whooped is ***, all of it and he just doesn't get it.
I don't want to give up but at what point do you let them fall? I am I getting tired? Yes because he just doesn't seem to care about his future and can't seem to tell me what he wants.
