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there is a dis connect some where. why are so many black women with males who will never marry them?
why are there so many out of wedlock births?
why the attraction for the thug?
young black women have a reputation for not really caring about a man.
you guys don't need us remember?
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James, I agree that women (myself) included have at times found ourselves in a relationship where we knew the end result would be separation instead of marriage. I can only give my reason for entering the relationship in the first place and I DO NOT represent all women while giving "my" reason.
I entered a relationship with what society has labeled as a thug knowing full well I wouldn't stay in this relationship past three months. I wasn't looking to get married (at that time) and embarked upon that journey only because I "knew" before hand what I was getting: excitement, great sex, no commitment, and experience in this avenue. I got all I bargained for and more. And it lasted no more than 3 months as I had known/planned it would. That was my first and last time with a "thug".
And you are correct - we don't need men - at all. Speaking for myself, I want you (men) and always will, but never need you. But on the other hand, I will always make you feel needed and wanted at the same time; this is something I recently learned. It is important in a relationship. Would you believe this is what I learned from the "thug" of all people - hence my and more statement above. He taught me that I don't make my man feel needed at all and any form or fashion. He was right; I couldn't argue. I thought about past relationships and I have never made one man feel needed or really wanted for that matter. I've always been the type "men are like Lay's potato chips - take all you want, they'll make more." He told me that the reason that he loved his child mother's (well he said baby's moma) but I hate that term............moving along...........he said he loved her despite of her lazy, evil ways is because she always made him feel needed. I thought that was because she did need him as she never had a job. But in talking to some of his family member's they said she was a very "expressive" girl and was never shy about letting him and others know how much she cared for him. And while they were together it was never a doubt in anyone's mind that she loved him.
I on the other hand would say I love you, but in the same breathe tell you I could have 10 more even better than you should ever choose to cross me. Over time, I learned that it is okay to show someone that you need them, but this doesn't mean without them you loose your independence.
Now for your question regarding having babies out of wedlock: You should pose this same question to the men, as last time I checked it took both men and women to have babies out of wedlock.