[Mr Gumbo]

Originally Posted by Nyela

I was thinking of this thread earlier and something came to mind. When my sister passed away, her youngest child and only girl was having a difficult time coping as was everyone else...but in a different way. She would act out in terrible ways. When approached about her behavior she would always say "I want my mommy." That would of course touch a tender spot and things usually calmed down immediately and after a little talk, we let it go.

After a few years of this, my mother was disciplining her about something and my niece said " I want my mommy." My mother, being the woman she is, said to my niece " I know you want your mommy...I want my daughter...but the fact that she is not here does not give me the right to be inappropriate and disrespectful to others. It also is not a green light to break the rules. She further said to her, if your mommy was here would she like the idea that you broke the rules and used her to get a pass on the behavior? My niece started crying and apologized. We never heard those words again. When she was having a hard time, she learned to say...I'm ok just missing mommy...and we would talk about it...She no longer used the death of her mom as an excuse for bad behavior.

I said all that to say this...Crutches are allowed when being broken is fresh and impossible to handle. But as the break begins to heal, the crutches aren't needed as much. And eventually they aren't needed at all. Maybe it's time to have a therapist teach you and your fiance how to wean the little man off of his crutches.
I hope I made sense...

Thank you, yes you made alot of sense.