[Sumyr]

I am thinking about what would have happened to me, 33 years ago when I was 12, if I raised my voice at my mama in a public place when my dad was present. Whatever happened next, it would have involved me lying on the ground holding whatever part of my body my dad was closest to. And, if I even acted like I was thinking about raising my voice to my dad? I would probably still be walking with a limp.

But, we live in a different time and Gumbo needs to worry more about what is best for Gumbo. The first priority for Gumbo is for Gumbo to do whatever he has to do to avoid going to jail. This is not just for Gumbo. Mama and boy will suffer as well, in some ways more so, if the man of their family gets taken away by the state.

Second priority. Gumbo, mama, and boy have got to start using sign language as well as voices the boy can not hear.

The boy thinks the adults in his life do not understand him. Gumbo wisely, calmly, but firmly says no. But, next, the boy goes to his mama. And, that is when things begin to escalate. He thinks mama doesn't understand what he is trying to say, so he speaks louder. But, he is deaf, so how is he supposed to know what tone of voice is too loud?

Then, mama gets upset because her boy who she loves so deeply is yelling at her. She has already complained to Gumbo about how it hurts her when the boy yells at her. So, now, Gumbo does what a man does. He steps in and tries to calmly diffuse the situation. But, by then, things are way past anything he can do to calm the waters.

The boy, frustrated that the two people he loves the most in the world do not understand him, starts behaving like 12-year-olds do when they think the whole world is against them. And, the mama, way, way out of her element, means well but has no idea how to fix this. And, then, there is Gumbo, perfectly placed for the state to insert itself and do the absolute worst thing to "fix" the problem.

Third priority. None of this means the boy, or the parents are doing anything wrong. They are just, all of them, way out of their element and need the assistance of a professional counselor who is experienced in dealing with the unique challenges of families with deaf children.

American Society for Deaf Children

Istola, Best advice given in this entire thread. Very well said and good solution to the problem. I too, when giving my own advice, failed to address solutions with handling deaf children as I - like others - have no experience with dealing with deaf children. And this is a unique case and should be handled "uniquely" as you've stated. That's what we are all here for - to catch things that others may miss when offering advice. Good looking out!