[matrixone05]

I've lived in a blended family as a child and as an adult 2 of mine, 1 of his.

My recommendations are:

The adults have to be in the same place mentally with this so you both should sit down and make sure you agree on rules, discipline, spirituality, etc.

I hate the term "step" so we never said stepchildren or stepmother/father.
If someone asked me how I had a son so old (he's 8 years older than my daughter and was 18 when I married his father), I answered that he was my "gift" child. My husband never explained my children because most people assumed they were his.

My "gift" child never lived with us, but knew he was an intrigual part of my family.

My children were never allowed to disrespect my husband, or their father's wife. They were told before either of us remarried that it would not be allowed or accepted.

If we disagreed about something the other did with the children or how a situation was handled, the adult was not contridicted in front of the children and the matter was discussed in private later.

My best advice is, for each of you to love those children and to treat them like they belong to you. Because they do.