AfroChat - African American | Black Discussion Forums - View Single Post - Do Black And White People Raise Their Kids Differently

sugar_sugar · September 7th, 2007, 01:41 AM

First reply to a post, I hope I mke sense..

I have to say YESSSSSSS there is a HUGE difference. As a member of a Parenting site that is overwhelmingly White, I see so many things that make me want to scream or slap someone. From growing up and the other board, White people (and women in particular) always want to please. They want to placate. They want to make others feel loved and supported and good about themselves.

Now don't get me wrong, these are good things to do. But White women do it at their own expense, and to the detriment of the person recieving their "services". For example, they say "I want my 2 year old to feel like he is important, so I let him tell me what he needs and I do it". WHAT? It's a 2 year old! THey don't know what they need! Or maybe they say "I never let my 6 month old baby cry... there's no way I could spoil her." Well no, maybe she's not "spoiled" per se, but you are setting up an expectation that when she says jump, your feet leave the floor, no questions asked.

I truly believe that White women are so caught up in being their child's friend (so the child will know they are loved) that they fail to realize that friends are not what children need. They need guidance, structure, rules, consequences... things that allow them to function outside of mommy's loving embrace.

I do think that some Black women though take things to the opposite extreme- imposing so many restrictions and witholding love until their children are crippled emotionally and socially.

September 7th, 2007, 01:41 AM	#27 (permalink)
sugar_sugar Afro Resident Occasional 2Cents sugar_sugar is offline Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 14 Thanks: 0 Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts Rep Power: 0 Credits: 268	First reply to a post, I hope I mke sense.. I have to say YESSSSSSS there is a HUGE difference. As a member of a Parenting site that is overwhelmingly White, I see so many things that make me want to scream or slap someone. From growing up and the other board, White people (and women in particular) always want to please. They want to placate. They want to make others feel loved and supported and good about themselves. Now don't get me wrong, these are good things to do. But White women do it at their own expense, and to the detriment of the person recieving their "services". For example, they say "I want my 2 year old to feel like he is important, so I let him tell me what he needs and I do it". WHAT? It's a 2 year old! THey don't know what they need! Or maybe they say "I never let my 6 month old baby cry... there's no way I could spoil her." Well no, maybe she's not "spoiled" per se, but you are setting up an expectation that when she says jump, your feet leave the floor, no questions asked. I truly believe that White women are so caught up in being their child's friend (so the child will know they are loved) that they fail to realize that friends are not what children need. They need guidance, structure, rules, consequences... things that allow them to function outside of mommy's loving embrace. I do think that some Black women though take things to the opposite extreme- imposing so many restrictions and witholding love until their children are crippled emotionally and socially.